Ooh, a blog list! So commission junction (no capitals for you, ya messers!) are off my site. Here's why:
10. When they deactivate your account, they don't send you any email to let you know about it. The first time you find out is when you try to login. Bummer for you!
9. There is no way to contact them by email. No addresses on their site. Nix, Nada, Zippity-Doo-Da. Customer support is provided by international telephone numbers. Oh yeah! Do it to me baby!
8. The only way to get in touch using this new-fangled interwebnet thing is by using a teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy help form for lost passwords. No, I'm not linking to it, but it's not hard to find from the login page. Ah go on, go find it, it's hilarious. Just remember to write really small. Oh, and I wouldn't try to have a longish domain name – cos it won't fit! Muppets!
7. If you're not making the numbers after six months, they cut you off. Hello? Ever heard of the long tail fellas? Hey I know it's just a little old personal blog, but do you have to be so mean? Not everyone can be Cory or the Doc, you know. Some us of just have our own wee little corner of cyberspace we call home. Sob …. bwwahhhaahha…
6. If your account is deactivated it can't be reactivated. Ah Holy God! databases … yesss … beeg ma-jeek! veree scaree … yesss …
5. After kicking you in the metaphorical nuts, they say, and I quote:
Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you. Client Services Commission Junction, A Valueclick Company
4. All their mails are Roach-Motel mails. As in, you can receive 'em, but you can never reply…
stimulus, no-response, stimulus, no-reponse, ...
3. Their online reporting sucks. This one is from memory since I can't, um, login anymore.
2. They deactivate your account, without confirming your final balance. Nasty. Any word on how I'm supposed to get my few pence out guys (if indeed there is any)?
And the number one reason not to use commission junction (still no caps for you!) …
1. Their site is … puke-green. Oh my poor dear eyes.
Well CJ, it's been great, but it's time to move on. It's not you, it's me. I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you.
Go gcreime maorlathaí míthrócaireach do chuid infheistíochtaí!
The curse of Cromwell on you!
Go scriosa cúnna ifrinn do chuid fo-éadaigh!
May you be afflicted with the itch and have no nails to scratch with!
Me? Bitter? Nah…
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